Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

It is definitely an interesting Christmas! Home for the holidays! Yes, it's wonderful to not be in a hotel for Christmas...  it's wonderful to be in a house!

We checked out of the hotel on Friday, picked up the kids at college, and slept in the house Friday night. We had to buy beds, so they were delivered on Thursday, but anything we had accumulated while renting in Gardiner was packed up, to be moved in on Saturday. Kids brought their blankets and pillows from school, I had our blankets and bought a couple more pillows for Bob and I (you can never have too many pillows!), so that we could stay here Friday. I did a Sams Club on-line order, and a Hannaford To-Go order to save time in the stores, picked those up Friday night and Saturday morning...  The movers came Saturday morning, and it was so nice to finally have places to sit down!  By Sunday we had unpacked plates, silverware, and glasses, and could actually make a meal.

Bob and I had gotten a tree earlier - it was in the garage, in a tote, in water - now frozen! So Saturday night we pulled it into the house, put it in the bathroom, and got the ice to start melting. Sunday afternoon Bob hammered the ice off the trunk, and we set it up.  I bought lights earlier this week, and was given a tree stand. I also got a vinyl tablecloth to put under, mostly to protect the new floor from water! I ordered the angel on-line, she came in time, and looks right on the top of the tree - similar to what we had before. We decorated with ornaments we've picked up, some that were given to us, some that a friend made for us, the one I made, and the ones the kids surprised us with, they got together at school and painted them!  My mother gave me some ornaments that my grandmother had made, so we even have a bit of history on the tree!  I love our tree. I do miss my Christmas bins - one of house decorations (plates, towels, knick-knacks, wall hangings, etc), one of kids stuff (stuffed Rudolph characters, kids books), bins of lights and ornaments, the Christmas mugs, the advent wreath...  Sigh. Starting fresh. (I do that a lot these days. Pick myself up, and go on...) My mother made me a quilted Santa wall hanging like the one she'd made me before.  That is now beautiful on my wall!

We got each other some gifts - but not a lot...  as I told a friend,  just enough to be Christmas, since we're all tired of shopping and tired of new stuff that's replacing what we lost... It was fun but challenging to think of things that we didn't have before but wanted to get for each other!!!  I love the birdfeeder that Santa put on our deck railing.

It's starting to feel like our home, not just a house we're staying in.  If my van is parked in the yard, feel free to stop in and say "Hi!" - it's having friends visit that's helping to make it feel like OUR house!  (Just be careful not to trip over the stuff, we're still figuring out where things belong!)

  

Sugar Cookies!

Teresa has been wanting to find Aunt Joyce's sugar cookie recipe.  It's her father's favorite, and she likes to make them every Christmas. 

I had searched what I had on my computer, but didn't have it there.  I was surprised that the relatives we asked did not have it...  Finally, today, I searched my old emails -- and FOUND IT!   (Oddly enough, I found the email where I had thanked her for the recipe, luckily with the original included in the reply, because I did NOT find the original email! Good thing I'd thanked her!)  And in that weird quirky way that things happen -- Aunt Joyce had emailed it to me, EXACTLY 11 years ago today!

That's one down...  a bunch more to go!  When we were in Houlton for Thanksgiving, I snapped a photo of a couple of the recipes I need - Caramel Popcorn, for one!!!  My mother has shared her computer file of recipes, so that helps, too. 

My favorite cookbook is the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, the one with the red checked cover and looseleaf pages.  I got that cookbook as a high school graduation present, and I'm happy to say that a friend of similar age has given me hers - the earlier or later versions have slightly different recipes, so I really wanted the same edition! 

It's one of those things that I'm looking forward to doing once we're in the new house.  That's a phrase that's a little scary - since there are a LOT of things on that list!!!   I am looking forward to making a recipe book.  It's a project that I've been thinking of for several years, but it's never been a very high priority.  I want to include recipes and stories, and it will be a meaningful book for my kids, as well as a cookbook!

I hesitate to ask for ANYTHING, since whenever I mention something, I get such an abundance of responses ... but this, I can ask for - if you have a recipe that you think I would like, please send it along.  I'd love to have the story of the recipe, as well.  Who usually makes it?  Is it one that we've made together?  Is it something that's a special tradition in your family?  Is it just delicious?  And if I'm overwhelmed with recipes, I'll just print them and put them into a binder. 

I'm looking forward to cooking in my new kitchen!

Christmas shopping dilemma

I know we've all struggled with "what can you get someone who has everything?"  - it's one of the reasons that gift cards are so ubiquitous.  However, here's a new one:  What can you get someone who NEEDS everything?

I want to go get Christmas presents for my son, daughter, and husband.  There are a lot of things that they need, that I expect to go buy and have Insurance help replace.  Can I buy those things as Christmas Presents?  If I do, can I still submit the receipts, or does that cheapen the gift?  Can they wait until Christmas to receive those items - or will they be going out to get them now, because they simply need them?

And how exciting is it to open a beloved book, as a Christmas gift, and then collapse in tears because you'd forgotten about that particular one, and now you've been reminded all over again about all that you've lost?  It's hard to explain what is "fine", and what pushes you over the edge.

Do I purchase all new and different things?  How do I even think of what to get?  And it seems so surreal to buy games and friviolous items, when so much of my shopping energy needs to go to essential shopping.  I'm thankful that I have friends that go shopping with me, and understand when I've hit my limit. Sometimes it is just too overwhelming.

I've mostly determined that this year will be minimal gift giving.  Not because of budget, or any grand conservative goals, but simply because we're so aware of how wonderful it is to be together.  I hope that we will be in our new house to celebrate, but even if we're in the hotel, it will be joyful.

We've got a tree up in the hotel room, and a little Nativity.  That makes it Christmas.  I like to have the Nativity out from the beginning - it is "the reason for the season", after all!  I have one ornament on the tree, the one I got at the Craft Fair in Houlton over Thanksgiving weekend - it is a red door on a white house, so we had it engraved "Easterbrooks 2019".  (I saw ornaments for "first year in our new house" - but those did not seem right.)  I have a box with a few of the ornaments my grandmother made, ready to put on when the girl comes home for the weekend.  I've already had a couple friends tell me they have an ornament for me.  It's going to be fun to put up a real tree in the new house and decorate it - whenever it happens!

It does seem quiet, though...  I had a 100-disc CD player, completely full of the Christmas CDs we'd collected through the years.  All of the Very Special Christmas CDs, Twisted Christmas, some instrumental, some country, some pop...  I'd get at least one or two every year!  We (read: Bob) had copied them to our computers so we could play them ...  but even those were lost.  I'd love to recapture some of those, if anyone wants to lend them to us for a few days to make a copy.  (I'm very sensitive to copyright rules - but I honestly have no guilt in replacing lost items with a copy.) 

This has always been one of my favorite quotes.  I think this year it's particularly appropriate!

Tech Tip Tuesday!

Today is Tech Tip Tuesday!  I'm starting to get back to some "normal" activity - and it feels good! 

I hadn't really PLANNED to do a "Tech Tip Tuesday" post on my Facebook page, but I got a "HELP ME!" message, and worked through the problem.  My plan is to create a separate blog for this type of thing, but for now, I'm going to share the story here!  I can make it 'professional' and post it later - but for you, my general group of friends and blog-readers, here's how I spent part of my snowy Tuesday:

The whole thing began with my friend needing to update a Garmin GPS system.  They needed to go to Garmin.com to download an update.  They had some errors, and SOMETHING popped up on the screen, which led my friend to click on something taking them to "garmincomexpress.support", which is NOT a garmin.com site! 

I have a suspicion that they may have typed GARMIN in the address/search bar, and then the browser SEARCHED and came up with a mostly-garmin site...  but I don't know that for sure, but it's one way that people find themselves in trouble.  I do that myself, let the browser do the work - but then you have to make sure it took you to the site you expected.

At that site, they were prompted for a live chat, and then for a phone call.  Ultimately, the "tech" got them to allow a remote connection - and then claimed that the reason they had trouble doing the download is because there was a virus.  Next, they offered virus protection for $200 for four years, $350 for six years, and $699 for lifetime...   this is the point where my friend realized it was NOT Garmin support, disconnected, and contacted me!

My first plan of attack is often Malwarebytes - it's been very effective.  It was already on this computer, but when we tried to run it, the error said "Cannot connect to service".  We opened the Services, and could see that the malwarebytes service was set to "disabled".  We changed it to automatic, started it, and -- still couldn't run it.  Supporting services were also disabled.

Comparing the list to a working computer's list of services, my friend reset ALL of the disabled services that should have been enabled.  A reboot, and things worked normally.  We still scanned the computer, but I'm pretty sure that the scam does NOT install a virus, but simply made the computer unusable by disabling services, probably with a script, and that upon payment they could simply reverse the action.

Did I mention that we did this remotely, just using video chat? 
No snow days for Technology Coaching! 

I've also been doing some research on iTunes and adding new music, on resetting a forgotten computer login password, and prepping for my Phone Photography adult ed class.  I'm also working on how to build my tech coaching business, including the use of video - thus, the experimental Tech Tip Tuesday video! 

My complaint letter

I sent this email today. I though I'd share it. I'm not publishing this link on Facebook, so if you found it, it's because you are actually interested in my blog!  :) Welcome, thanks for reading. It's been a long couple of days, waiting to hear something ...so I put my energy into what I hope is a reasonably positive complaint email.

*** Update: I guess it was effective, it generated the call I needed.  We are planning on the crew beginning work on Friday (30th)!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I am very frustrated. I called Brian on Monday, I emailed Susan on Tuesday. I've heard nothing back.

I called on Friday, the 15th, to let you know that we had electricity and water, and that the final furnace connections were going to be done on Wednesday the 20th.  I called on Friday the 22nd, let you know that the furnace was operational, as planned, and the house is warm.  I was told both times that Troy and crew were working on another home that week (18-22), and that they would be here on Monday the 25th.  We discussed the fact that it was Thanksgiving here, but that since Troy already had his deer, he wouldn't be needing to take time off to hunt.

I thought we had a good understanding that they'd be here on Monday.  I assumed (obviously wrongly!) that if anything was different, that you'd let me know.  I had the cleaning people come and give me an estimate on Monday, assuming that Troy would be here and we'd be able to discuss how many days he thought it would take to finish.  Without input from you or the crew, I tentatively scheduled the cleaning for Wednesday and Thursday, December 4 & 5.  I had hoped to do that on Monday and Tuesday, and move appliances, furniture, and belongings from storage in on Wednesday and Thursday, but I don't want things to be rushed, and thought perhaps weather or unexpected delays at the prior home had kept the crew from being there Monday.

Now, with still no input from you, I have no idea when to expect the construction crew to begin - much less when I can expect them to finish!  I have the insurance adjuster asking me, as his initial estimate had us back in our home on December 10.  He has been extending authorization week by week for the hotel, but to go past December 10 for him requires approval of his superiors, so he's asking me why it is taking so long.  I have no answers for him.

I had planned on Teresa and Phillip coming home from college for the weekend of December 7 & 8.  That's the weekend that Winthrop does the holiday parade, and all the local craft fairs.  I was hoping we could do those things, and let them unpack their rooms.  (with all of the posessions they packed in storage - a whopping couple of boxes each.....)  At this point, that's quickly becoming not possible.  It's ok, we'll just adjust the plan - but if I need to book the hotel for them, I need to know, and get approval from the insurance adjuster.  Each of these things costs the insurance company real money, and I have to justify why it's necessary.  Quite frankly, "I haven't heard from my builder" is not really a great answer.

I am so discouraged right now.  I have contracted with the earthmoving, foundation, the electrician, the electrical utility, the plumber, the heating company, and the well drilling company, carpentry for the back deck and all outside stairs, and EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM has done what they have said they would do.  I can no longer do anything to move this process forward, it's now your responsibility to get my home completed.  I understand that things may have delayed the process on your end, but I find the lack of communication inexcusable.

My glowing recommendation for Hayden Homes is at serious risk right now.  I hope you can redeem it.

It happened!

I was just reading an article that mentioned having pictures of their son when he was young, doing something, unimportant the specifics...  It started to make me a little sad, as I thought, I used to have pictures like that.  I felt sad that the photos are gone.  But then, I thought about the fact that it really happened.  The photograph did exist, but now doesn't - but it doesn't diminish the actual event.  It really doesn't matter if the photo exists, and is in a pile in a corner somewhere that I can't find anyway, or if it doesn't exist anymore -- either way, I'm not looking at it now, but I am remembering it.  And the event that was recorded in that photograph really happened, whether or not it was recorded, and whether or not I can locate that photograph.

Life happens.  And we continue on, living more.  And sometimes we have "proof" that we did things - and sometimes, we just have the joy that we did those things. 

Finding the joy in the past, without needing the proof.  That's the challenge.  Remembering, without sadness - because what I'm sad about is not having a physical reminder.  I'm still grateful for the moments, and happy to remember.

It doesn't matter if I can prove it.  I don't need to.  For centuries, people lived by telling stories, describing things, without photographs.  We've all heard that "a picture is worth 1,000 words" - but perhaps, sometimes, the words are just as compelling.

Since you asked ...

Since you asked --
     NO, we are not in the new house yet.
     NO, we do NOT know when we will move in.
     YES, I expect we will be in by Christmas.
I'm hoping the week after Thanksgiving, actually, but that is already December.

On a good day, yes, I'm excited to be in for Christmas.  However, I have done NONE, ZIP, ZERO Christmas shopping.  I like to be DONE by Thanksgiving, so this is a very strange situation...

I will have some familiar ornaments - my mother has some for me.  We often go to the craft fair in Houlton the weekend of Thanksgiving, and sometimes we'd buy the same kind of ornament.  I remember some sleds with mice painted on them that we got one year when I was first working and having my own tree.  She's also promised me some ornaments that my grandmother had made. 

I've even started making a few decorations:

(Oh, and I take it back ... in my crafting bag I have a Christmas present I bought for my mother! So I guess I'm not doing that badly ...  things WILL be ok!)

It's going to be an interesting Christmas.  It will be great to have the kids home for Christmas Break, and to really be "home".  In our new house, as it becomes home. 

I like mornings.

I like mornings. I can get up and believe I can accomplish what I need to.

Not evenings. When it seems like no matter what I do, it's not enough, and there's so much more to do tomorrow.

** note:  this was an unpublished blog post from October 8, 2019. 

I remember that month...  it was a VERY long month. It did culminate in the delivery of our new house, it was a very busy time!

Parapetówka

We're planing to have a parapetowka!

A WHAT?????  you say?  This goes back to my GTECH days, when I lived in Rhode Island.  (Pre-Bob, even!  He eventually started working at GTECH, too, and the rest is history...  but that's another story!)  I worked with some awesome people, including a couple of Polish people.  I learned a few Polish words, but this one was my favorite.

It's a Housewarming Party - but not just ANY housewarming.  The literal translation of the word is "windowsill party" - because it's SO EXCITING to get a house, that you want to celebrate with your friends as soon as you can - before you even more in, so the only place to sit is the windowsill!  These friends had a Parapetowka when they bought their new home.  (That was a party to remember!!!) Then when I bought my house in RI, I did the same.  It's a very low-stress event, since there's no possessions in the house yet, nothing to worry about breaking!  LOL!

We plan to do this!  It's open to all of you who have been such support to us through this struggle.  I'm STILL not quite sure when it will be ... but the general time line is delivery on October 17/18, and final construction, electric, plumbing, furnace, the next week or two.   When we have a date, I'll spread the word. 

When we do, please feel free to stop by, bring your favorite beverage, and we'll toast to the future! 

We will probably have a more formal open house, and probably several smaller gatherings.  I hope to entertain in our new home fairly often!  But this first one one is just a simple celebration of having a HOME, and we want to share that with you - all of you! 

Here are a couple of references for you:

https://en.bab.la/dictionary/polish-english/parapetowka

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/parapetówka

https://szrek.com/about-me/
https://szrek.com/walter-szrek/
https://szrek.com/irena-szrek/

Sunday Musing

This is a Sunday morning musing ... from a few weeks ago, actually, but going to share it anyway.

I went to church this morning.  I love the music.  (It's during the music that I'm mostly to end up with tears...)

There are so many songs about my Father's house.  I've been thinking about all this work that we're putting into our new house. Building it from the ground up. Furnishing it. Making it a home -- and yet it still is a temporary house until we go to our Father's house.

I had been going to look for some of those songs, give you some links to them -- but that exercise is left to the reader!  I'd say feel free to add in the comments, but you'll have to add them to the Facebook comments, or send them to me via email (linda04364@gmail.com).  I've turned off blog comments, because it's too frustrating not to know who is commenting!  :)   

Here's one to get you started...   I'll update with others later, as suggested! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14pPevY5sd8

I'm cold!

Brrr.  It's chilly today.  I'm wearing shorts, a sleeveless shirt, and a sweatshirt. 

I need to go shopping.  For clothing.  Again. 

I hate clothes shopping, it's depressing.  Nothing ever fits right.  I'm 5' 1+", and so pants are always too long.  And I've NEVER been shaped right, anyway, pants big enough for my waist are too big in the legs and butt.  Oh, I sometimes find pants I like at KMART, so of course that's next store to close!!!  Oh, well.  Whining again, sorry... trying to limit the whining, so poke me if you catch me at it!

But the change of season sets me to needing more. Shoes, boots, jackets. Warmer blankets (I put a fleece blanket on my bed last night, thank you to whoever it was that gave that to us!)  Need to continue adding to our list of things to replace.

In the meantime, progress on the house is encouraging!  The foundation looks great.  We will take the possessions we've collected while here in Gardiner. I will miss being here - it's been wonderful to have a whole house, space to be together when we want, and separate when we want.  We've had room to collect things and begin the recovery process. 

But as I think of moving in, my stomach hurts.  Anticipation, apprehension, trepidation... We will have movers do the physical work of transporting things.  But then we'll be in the new house.  A friend was telling me about his mother grieving his father's death, and that she is trying to find the new normal. That's what we're looking at - needing to creating the new normal.  As long as we're here in Gardiner, I know it's temporary...

Once we move into the new house, that's it. We will need to adjust, settle in, and be there. I know it will be amazing. I won't get up in the morning to a kitchen that's 58 degrees and think about how to insulate better!  But I also won't come down to the cast iron plaques on the wall that came from my grandparents house.  I won't use the Revereware pans that my mother and I burned popcorn in, before she got her new set and gave those to her mother, which then came to me when she passed away.  When we move it, it will look like anybody's house.  Like a magazine house.  Generic.  I might have to do some of those Paint Nights so I can have artwork to hang!  (Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!)

So there's excitement - and dread.  Happy, and sad.  I'm looking forward to decorating, to making it our own.  I know we'll create new stories there.. and I'm counting on all of you to come visit, and help us make new memories!  :) 

We have a STICK!

We are a little excited.  We have a stick. 

There's a stick in the ground with a cute little pink (!!!) flag on it.  That is where the front corner of the house will be. 

We might even have a hole sometime soon, and then a foundation.  Visible progress will be nice!

I'm trying to be excited for the new house.  It's going to LOOK huge, because instead of being bigger front to back (like the old house, which was one square behind the other), it will be bigger side to side.  That will be nice, we will have more East windows and fewer cold North windows.

I am looking forward to getting it built.  But the amount of work ahead of us is still daunting.  We've been working on the lists of things to replace, but that's very theoretical....  and also discouraging.  Some things, I google and find a typical replacement price.  Some things, just make me stop writing the list, and walk away.  Come back to it later.

And now I need to make sure the kids have what they need to go off to college next week.  And the seasons are changing, so the shorts, tank tops, sundresses, and sandals are not enough for clothing any more... 

It's going to be another busy week!

Are we excited?

We had an interesting dinner discussion last night.  Bob, Teresa, Phillip, and I were all there, and the question was asked, "are we excited about getting our new house delivered in October?"

We are happy about it, yes.  But excited is kind of hard.  We're not really excited - if we got out OLD house back, that would be exciting.  But that can't happen.  We plan to be happy in the new house -but it will take time for it to become home.

I'm excited to be back in Winthrop, and have my old backyard back.  I haven't gone outside looking for meteors here, I just cant set my alarm and go out and do it - it's just not the same.  It's the same sky, but it's lighter, and less open space.  It's a place I'm happy, but it's not my happy place.

Each of the "firsts" in the new house will even be bittersweet.  There will be grieving at each happy occasion, just as there is after losing a family member.  Our first Christmas in the new house will be the first without "the old house". I know it's not a person, it's just a house.  But think how you feel when you drop and break your favorite Christmas ornament.  And now it's ALL of your favorite Christmas ornaments.  We will get new ornaments - but you can't buy a box of memories at Christmas Tree Shops.  There will be new items that remind us of old memories, and we will make new memories - but all of it will take time.

That was quite a family conversation.  But wait there's more!  :)

I had a good conversation with the Girl today, about gifts.  She expresses things so well, that I'm going to try to recreate some of the thoughts....   She's concerned about receiving gifts, and people trying to replace things.  In some ways, that would make her feel like it was about "THE FIRE" and replacing what we had. She wants to feel that gifts, especially birthday and Christmas gifts, are about now, and about the future.  She has put some things on her amazon wish list, including a lot of items for her newest hobby, D+D!

The fire is in the past - and we will be rebuilding some of that past, with a lot of help from friends and family.  There are people holding items that will go into the new house, to restore some of the feeling of family.  But the new items will be focused on the new life we're building.

I've blogged before about "renewal" (https://linda04364.blogspot.com/2012/04/fresh-start.html) - this is definitely a fresh start.  I hope to keep us facing forward, renewing our spirits, as we continue in this journey. Each day we remember more things that we've lost.  We will grieve each one, but then we choose to replace, rebuild, or simply remember that thing.

For people wanting to help, please remember that our past is important - but our future is even more important than our past.

The Show Must Go On!

July 22.  I went to a play yesterday.  It was awesome.

It also made me think about the phrase, "the show must go on" ...  I really feel like that's what we're doing.

And -- that's where I left off on this thought.  I'm posting it anyway, and moving on to the next one!  Sometimes things just don't get finished. 

Sneakers or Flip-flops?

Sneakers or flip-flops?  That is my choice of footwear today.  It's a little frustrating, since if I want to wear a dress I either need to wear sneakers with it, or wear the flip flops that are not great for walking.  I also don't have slippers - I wear the flip flops around the house. It was more practical when we were at the hotel to get flip-flops than slippers, and now other things have been more important.

I probably should go buy a pair of dress shoes, AND slippers, AND sandals AND maybe even some boots...   But it's so hard to find a single pair of shoes that really feels great, the thought of looking for so many sometimes stops me from looking for ANY.  (I had bought TWO pairs of sneakers this spring, the ones I'd chosen to wear for Teresa's graduation, knowing that in Boston that walking is inevitable, and the other pair, still in a box, at the house...  gone...) 

Decision-making becomes overwhelming... do I want a pair of flats, or some low heels? Should I get black or brown or maybe a nice navy?  And then, again, it really doesn't matter since I don't have much clothing to wear them with, so maybe I should get the black since it goes with everything... but maybe I need both.

And at some point I just I accept that I'm overwhelmed and I walk away. That's just the shoes. My shoes.  Just one little tiny insignificant piece of all that we're rebuilding.   So many CHOICES!!!!

Building New

We are working on the plans for a new house.  It's terrifying!  I never expected to be building a new house.  We're pretty much rebuilding - which means the new house will also be big.  And yet, why so big, when the kids are already grown?  But I can't imagine a smaller house on that property.  So we're building the house it needs, and setting it up so we can stay there as long as we want to.

In the meantime, we are making our temporary living situation feel like "home".  Bob put up a clothesline, and I've used it already!  The kids have had friends over, played games at the dining room table, and now upstairs at the new card table.  Gardiner is a little too far from Winthrop, but other than that, this place is great.  (And will be for sale this fall...  anyone want a preview tour?)

A friend came to visit yesterday, and returned a book she'd borrowed.  Something from before - which makes it a treasure, even if it wasn't a beloved book!

Which reminds me ...  the books.  Here are a few more authors that we liked:

• Frank Herbert (the entire DUNE series!)
• MYTH-adventures series (Robert Asprin)  (Another Fine Myth, etc)
• Thieves World (Robert Asprin)
• Asimov (Foundation series, Robot series, and many others.)
• Harlan Ellison
• Stephen Jay Gould (reflections in natural history)
• Calvin and Hobbes
• Far Side
• Bloom County
• Dilbert

Kids books 

• Sandra Boynton
• Eric Carle
• Lynn Plourde  (of course we had several signed!  Also other local authors.  Once we get settled, I'll be looking into replacing some of these!)

And now, I should get moving, I still have a list of things-to-do!

I also keep a running list in my purse, things to pick up at the store, but also for when someone says what do you need...  here's today's list (6/25) It's in no particular order.  Just shows what a bizarre smattering of things I think about that we need!

• Colander
• Drinking Glasses
• Dobie sponges
• Refrigerator Magnets
• Yardstick
• Chair Pads (6)
• Coat Tree / Coat Rack
• Desk (We have one.  I've kind of claimed it...  need one for Bob to work at home, or else for me to share better!)
• Toolbox
• twin size beds (kids are on mattresses on the floor. or maybe that works for the summer... thinking when we get to the new house, they might want bigger beds!)
• chairs for bedrooms, maybe desks?
• slippers (L)
• Sneakers (P)
• Baking pans
• cupcake pans - regular and mini
• cast iron frying pan, griddle
• cast iron dutch oven

Today's wishlist 6/21

I keep a running list in my purse, things to pick up at the store, but also for when someone says what do you need...  here's today's list. (6/21)  (6/25) It's in no particular order.


Teflon safe utensils
Colander
Drinking Glasses
Dobie sponges
Refrigerator Magnets
Yardstick
placemats
Chair Pads (6)
Veggie peeler
Labelmaker
Coat Tree / Coat Rack
Card Table & Chairs
Tray Tables
Night Stand
Bookcases
Dressers
Desk
Stepstool
Toolbox
twin size beds (kids are on mattresses on the floor)
chairs for bedrooms, maybe desks?
slippers (L)
Sneakers (P)
2C, 4C, 8C pyrex measuring cups
Pyrex covered dishes
Baking pans
cupcake pans - regular and mini
cast iron frying pan, griddle
cast iron dutch oven

Moving to not-home...

We are moving.  It's exciting - we will finally (after a month!) be not in three hotel rooms!  Nice rooms, each with a couch, table, fridge, microwave...  but hotel rooms.  It's terrifying, at the same time - it's not "home", it's not even in Winthrop. It is a nice house, an older home but newly refinished, and in great shape! It has lots of rooms, and we should be able to start acquiring those things we're missing.  I'm just conflicted, not sure if I'm happy or sad, excited or scared.

I'm stressed about leaving the hotel rooms, and needing to take absolutely everything with us.  Not that we have collected much, compared to a houseful, but whatever we've collected is all we have.  I need to remember to check the nightstand and not leave my PJs behind... I need to check the cupboards and take all the things in there (except the hotel's plates and glasses!). 

I have several big areas to keep track of.  One is this move to a temporary home, which so far has been going well.  I also have been working on what needs to happen to clean up the old house, and begin the process of a new house.  And then there's the personal property list - which honestly is the hardest.  All of the STUFF...  we have to list each and every item.  The list is still short - I try,  but every so often, there are too many memories related, and I just stop.

I'm hoping that when we're moved into the house it will be easier.  I can sit in a kitchen and think of my old kitchen.  Sit in the living room and imagine the old one.  Hoping that makes the process a little easier - and when I get overwhelmed, I can go to a different room! 

But now I'm going to need to make a meal plan, and get some groceries.  I'm looking forward to it - but it will also be an adjustment.  A new kitchen, and get new pans... people have been great offering things, too.  But it's going to take a little while to feel like home.

An update - Forward progress...

We are making forward progress!  We will be leaving the hotel on Monday, the 17th.  That will be great, to move into a place where we have common areas, not just rooms. I will miss the hotel, though.  These folks have been great to us.  The food is amazing - great breakfasts every day, nice reception M-Th evenings.  I haven't had the energy to enjoy the pool or exercise room, I'm afraid...  maybe we'll come back for a staycation some time!

We're moving to a home in Gardiner -- 4 Beech St.  (Temporary - while we rebuild!) It is a half mile to the Gardiner Library, so we'll get cards there, too!  (You all know how important libraries are to me!)  It will also be walking distance for the kids, if they think of something they need...  although we're working on getting their licenses this summer, permits have been applied for!

We still have paper plates/cups/silverware from Teresa's graduation party, so we don't need dishes! LOL !!!  Seriously, I know I've had several offers for things we need...  happy to accept, but we don't need a lot!  I'll buy a new coffeepot, Bob is looking forward to that!!!! 

We already have two recliners and a couch that we've accepted from people.  I'm going to look for a kitchen table and chairs, and maybe stools for the island in the kitchen.  One thing I've realized we definitely need are desks.  A desk for Bob to work at - he's already commented that he misses the corner desk he had.  What makes me crazy is that I had been planning to get rid of two desks from the old house!  Oh, well.  But if anyone else is looking to part with a desk or a bookcase, that's something we can use.  Don't COMMENT here, unless you have a blogger account they come through as Anonymous! Call or text me 207-446-8841, or email me linda04364@gmail.com.

We're going to buy new mattresses, a king for the built-in platform.  I'm going to buy two twin mattresses for the kids, which I'll use in my guest room in the new house and let them choose real bedroom sets when we move.  The closets have shelves, so dressers and bedframes are lower priority. I'm planning to check with Tabitha's Closet about bedding, as well as check with some folks who have mentioned it to me. 

The rental house has a room with floor to ceiling bookshelves - so maybe we go ahead and start the replacement of books even!  Still planning a post listing what we'd love for books, I'll do that separately. 

I've got CMP set up.  Still on hold with Spectrum.  The first bit was easy, we got service set up.  But the person I spoke with said that they hadn't finished the "seasonal hold" that I was told they would do for me when I went in to the office back in May.  Argh.  I spoke with the first person for over a half hour.  Now on hold with this second call, over 45 minutes...  I need a shower - if you see me today and I'm stinky, it's Spectrum's fault!

My mother is coming Friday, and will help us with cleaning and getting settled in.  I expect we'll be at the house in Gardiner most of Saturday and Sunday.  It will be so nice to have a place where we can settle in.  We're really looking forward to hanging out together in a living room!!!  

I'm also looking forward to having company.  Let me know when you can stop by, and your preferred beverage, if I don't already know (coffee/decaf/tea/wine/beer/Dr. Pepper/diet Coke/etc!)  It's all of our family, friends, neighbors, all of you, who really make all of this bearable.  Thank you.  Come visit me!  

A lifetime

I keep feeling like I see my life flashing before my eyes.

I blame GooglePhotos.

Every photo I've taken with my cellphone is there...   not lost...  It's only the past 5 years, but there are a lot of photos.  Some are now treasures, but some are just pocket-photos!!!!   So I scroll through, looking for a photo that can show when we built the new back deck, to answer the question for the insurance adjuster.  And each photo is bittersweet.  Sweet, because I have it, and because it captures a moment in time...  but bitter, too, because everything in a photo of the house is now gone, needing to be replaced. 

I can still close my eyes and picture the rooms ... but the photos help.  And I worry that I'm getting old, and my memory may be going.  How I am ever going to remember everything I need to remember?  What did we really have in that room?  And does it even really matter...  I used to write things down, so that I'd be able to look back.  And now, it's up to me - my responsibility to remember, to ad lib, without a script. 

I see photos of recipes - thank you, everyone who ever requested a copy of a recipe!  Most of my favorites are there, including my Apple Crisp recipe that is in Mrs. D's handwriting.  The recipe we decided was Aunt Mabel's cookies (the taffy crunch one!) is there, along with the Christmas cookies we usually make.  But I digress...  rebuilding my cookbook will happen, but there are so many other things to rebuild first. 

There are photos of school events, summer trips to visit family, college move-ins, and vacations.  But suddenly, those casual photos from home are the most poignant. 

Fire and Faith

I think there's a reason why Hell is depicted as fire. Fire is horrific and destructive. The State Fire Marshal told us that fire is violent and noisy. Our fire woke our neighbors with its noise. I hate to think of the terror our neighbors and our firefighters went through not knowing if that fire had touched us personally or just our stuff.

But Fire is also the Holy Spirit.  At church on Sunday, they announced a fundraising spaghetti supper to be held for us in two weeks. Knowing that we needed to be out of town for my niece's baby's baptism, where my daughter will become her godmother, I quickly flipped ahead in the book to see the date. It's not the date of the baptism but it IS the date of Pentecost. Pentecost - when the Holy Spirit came to the apostles in tongues of fire!  God has a quirky sense of humor.

I don't believe in coincidence, I believe in small miracles found every day. I believe that I'm being shown that that fire is bad but fire is good. I'm still looking forward to bonfires and s'mores. I won't let this fire stop me from being me. I'm thankful I didn't see it burning, I might not be able to feel this way if I had.

The kitchen fridge

I felt the need to share this.  A friend messaged me, and said "Been there, done that" and some encouragement.  I realized I'd started a blog post a long time ago, but never finished it or posted it...  It's relevant today, posting it exactly as I wrote it back then:

The Kitchen Fridge

A friend posted a picture on Facebook today, a picture of his former kitchen.  His house burned, and he lost everything that had been in that picture.

What strikes me first about this picture is the stuff on the fridge. It's not a magazine shot of some spotless photo shoot, it's a home... a place where you keep stuff.

Losing the kitchen sink isn't nearly as big a deal as losing all the little scraps on the fridge.

Home.

Home.

Home is an interesting word. We don't have the building we used to live in, but we have a home.  We picked up the Girl from college and brought her home. While she was at school, thought, she would refer to her dorm room as "home" - and I encouraged her in that.

Yesterday the kids and I went to the library. We got our library cards replaced (the first of MANY of those sorts of things, but we have our priorities!) They picked out some books, Teresa picking a couple of favorites (Fellowship of the Ring, Neil Gaiman "Neverwhere").

Then we went to the beach. The Winthrop town beach is a place where we spent a lot of time when they were younger. The kids stayed there while I went to Cumby's and picked up milk, went to House of Pizza and got two large pizzas. We took the pizzas home and had supper together.

The Little Things /revr4 5/20

It's so amazing how much our town EVERYONE wants to help.  And there's so much that we need!  Our immediate needs are taken care of by insurance, thank goodness.  And they've been great. I'm really uncomfortable with public fundraisers, because things are, so far, going smoothly. But everyone wants to help, so I'm going to smile and be gracious. There is a gofundme page, if you'd like to do that.  But SO many things are not easily replaced.  I've thought of a few of these types of things, and will update this post as I think of more.

We are currently at a hotel.  It's comfortable, suites not just a room, but not long term.  Most of the "things" we are not able to accept at this time, if you can just set them aside for now, that would be great.  I will try to keep this list updated with things we have been told about.  **date: 5/20 **

I've already mentioned the kids t-shirts - all those Winthrop activities, like Latin Club, Math Team, Robotics - to a couple of people.  I'm hoping that when we find time to go to Tabitha's Closet or Becky's Second Time Around, that we will find some donated ones.  Phillip wears XL t-shirts, and Teresa wears a L usually, but XL also works.  (Our Robotics teammates have said they are working on this.)

** we have two offers already.  You guys are amazing, and fast! Teresa's clarinet is no more.  We now have had THREE people offer a clarinet.  

Phillip had been collecting Transformers since he was six years old.  We've bought three new ones, so he can transform them and relax.  His first was "Red Alert" from about 2005/2006.  If you have OLD transformers, and were planning to donate/yardsale them, we'd love them.  

Our games closet had been full...  I needed to declutter those, but this was too drastic.  :)

We lost a *LOT* of books.  We don't expect to replace all of them... (Yikes, what a scary thought!) But there are some that I would like to have.  My mother got "Moo Baa La La La" for Teresa...   I'm going to think about which books we read over and over and over, and if you're looking to declutter your own kid's books, I'm happy to accept!  (Please don't go out and buy new.  We're happy with well-loved books, as ours were.  Teresa agreed with this, that all new books would not make it feel better, like well loved books would.)

The Monster at the End of this Book.  (My absolute favorite

The book of poems  - "Looking in and Other Stories" (a golden book, I believe.  Very old.)

-The Napping House (Phillip got this at a doc visit, we read it over and over)

-Stephen King books.  (Bob and I *EACH* had a copy of earlier books, once we got married just one copy..  LOL!)

Expect this section to get larger...  

Goedel, Escher, Bach.   (Again, in  those "wow, you, too" things from our dating days, we each had a copy!  Now down to 0.)

Bob's book.  Maybe I'll ask Cengage if he can get another copy.  

(Wow, the book list might need it's own list.)

** Thanks to Don Beattie for offering his information on our shared Ancestors.  I hadn't even thought about the genealogy paperwork we had... more amazing gifts being shared.

** need sleep.  I will continue this later, but thought I'd let folks know the kinds of things that are on my mind.  

Counting Blessings

We were in a hotel room in Boston, going to Teresa's graduation from Simmons.  Our cellphones started ringing, from Winthrop PD, around 5:30am.  Those are never good.  There was a fire at our property. The sound relief in his voice, the "Oh, thank god!"when he learned we were all away, was an indication that it was bad. 

It's bad.  It's gone.  It's not something you can even wrap your head around.  We waited until after graduation, and quick lunch, to tell the girl we couldn't even bring her "home" ...

But we were not there.  It wasn't the night before, when three of us would have been there.  It wasn't the night after, when six of us would have been there.  That's the biggest blessing of all.  I'm thankful that nobody was hurt fighting the fire, looking for us...  another blessing.

And I have to be careful about mentioning anything I need...  I'm looking forward to Teresa's graduation party tomorrow, which I believe is going to be a demonstration of loaves and fishes.  I love our town, everybody wants to help - it's definitely a blessing.

Each time I think of a loss, I just remember something good.  And our sense of humor will get us through this.  Even if it is a dark sense of humor at times.